An end is also a beginning
by Tatistus
Summary: Kotoko knows that Irie-kun doesn't show his affection too often, but the last couple of months he's been hurtful and colder than usual. She's feeling unattractive and unloved, and she finds a solution for her misery. Will it work? Rated M for sexy situations. Please do leave your review!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - The beginning of the end

Kotoko has endured a lot. She is called "idiot" in a daily basis. She knows she is clumsy and a bit loud, but she always tries her best to make everyone happy. Apparently, her best isn't enough…

She thought that she would eventually be immune to Naoki's cold words and acts. She hoped that she would get a fulfilling and lasting feeling of joy every time that he showed a bit of affection and warmth, but those times were fewer and fewer and this situation starts to take a toll on her. She begins to feel tired and unwanted, but what can she do about it? As always, she is going to try her best!

Naoki is having a really rough time at the hospital. The number of patients per hour is increasing rapidly, as well as the number of colleagues depending on his criteria. His cellphone won't stop ringing, not even on his free days or lunch times. Additionally, he is determined to get his Pediatrics degree, so his free time is shared between receiving hospital's phone calls and studying for his upcoming tests. Kotoko, as always, is trying hard to get his attention but, as much as he would like to spend time with her, he is too busy and tired to even try to have a minute of peace by her side.

It is the beginning of September. Kotoko realizes that her husband is going to have a free day but, as busy as he is, she knows that there would be no time for her. Then, she came up with a plan! It doesn't matter how hectic Naoki's day is, he still has to eat, doesn't he? So, the best option for them to have some time together and alone is to have a picnic in their backyard (to save commuting time). They are home alone, which means this is the best moment to avoid interruptions and spend at least 30 minutes side by side. Being conscious of her cooking abilities, she asked her father to prepare a couple of bentos and some side dishes. When she went to her father's restaurant to pick the food up, Shigeo was showing a concerned face and asked her to stay for a bit to chat.

· So, you're having lunch with Naoki?

· Yes! I've been looking forward to spend some time with him and to help him rest a bit.

· Does he know about your picnic plans?

· Not really, I want to surprise Irie-kun!

· … I've been wanting to talk with you about your marriage… You know I'm respectful of your relationship and I've always tried to stay out of your way, but lately I've seen you so lonely that it worries me.

· Oh dad, I didn't mean to worry you! It's just the Irie-kun has been very busy at work and with his studies, I only need him to finish his studies and he will have more time for me.

· But the fact that he is busy doesn't justify the way that he is treating you. He's more insulting and hurtful than before. I don't like that side of him. It seems like he's venting his fatigue by either mistreating or ignoring you for the last 2 months.

· I know… No! I mean, he's really tired, that's all! Thanks for worrying about me, but after today's lunch everything will change for the better!

· Kotoko…

· Don't worry, I'll…

· I just want you to know that your happiness is more important than anything. To me, this relationship is not rightfully balanced and it's making you sad and lonely. I told Naoki to take care of you when he asked for my permission to marry you and he's not complying. Think about your happiness, a real one. Also, think about what would make him happy. Promise me at least that.

· Yes, dad… I promise…

Kotoko walks back home thinking hard on her dad's words. Is she really happy? Is Naoki happy? Are her presence and acts helpful to make Naoki happy? She couldn't answer any of those questions and a sharp pain took place in her chest. Little did she know how long that pain is going to stay there and how much is it going to grow.

Naoki is a bit surprised. Why is he alone? Where is everyone? Although surprised, he couldn't help to feel relieved of finally having a bit of alone time. Then, he realized his cellphone hasn't ringed the whole morning. When he checks it, he sees it is turned off.

· What does this means!? I didn't turned it off… The battery can't be dead because I charged it last night. How did it…? Kotoko!

His already boiling head is about to explode out of anger! How many missed calls concerning delicate patients were missed? How many important consultations from different departments? How careless can she be?

Kotoko arrives at home at 11:40am, just in time to set everything ready: a nice tablecloth, a bottle of wine, a jar of juice, the bentos and side dishes and some freshly cut fruits. She even pick some flowers and puts them in a little glass of water. Everything looks perfect! It's 12:00, so she goes upstairs to call Naoki and get him in the mood for his surprise. She hopes wholeheartedly that this is going to be the event that will change things for the better, but the sharp pain in her chest won't disappear. What does it mean?

· Irie-kun! Lunch is ready! I need you to come downstairs with me, but you must close your eyes and…

· Close my eyes? Do you want me to kill myself by going downstairs with closed eyes?

· Hehe… You're right… but as soon as we reach downstairs, you must definitely close your eyes and…

· I don't have time for lunch.

· But you are working so hard! You must eat!

· I just had a sandwich.

He is being especially cold. His voice sounds lifeless…

· Irie-kun, I'd really like you to come with me. You don't have to close your eyes if you don't want, but…

· Please leave. I need to catch up on all the missed calls that I have. And don't ever touch my cellphone again. Your careless behavior could have killed a couple of patients.

· Your cellphone? I haven't…

· I told you to leave! How come everything is so hard to understand for you!?

· Please, don't yell… I just want to be with you for a bit. I'll be happy with only 20 minutes of your time. I promise to stay quiet if that means I can eat lunch with you…

Tears are trying to escape her eyes, but she is fighting not to shed them. The sharp pain in her chest is growing, and now she feels as of a million needles are poking her hands and face.

· Kotoko, don't you understand? Leave! I want to work!

· It's been awhile since we ate together, that's why I thought…

· You thought? Ha! Please, don't try to amuse me! You just don't know of boundaries when it comes to annoyance.

Kotoko now understands her dad's words. Now she understands why her chest is aching. She understands her place. She doesn't even have any tears in her eyes, but without even her noticing, the sparkle that she always has in her big brown eyes disappears.

· You… you really don't want me around, do you?

· Oh! It's a miracle! She understands something! Sometimes I think you just play dumb to irritate me, but that would mean that you need to concentrate on your acts and that's something nearly impossible to you.

· You don't have to be so mean! You're colder than usual! What did I do to upset you?

· Everything! Everything that you do upsets me!

· So if I disappear you would be at peace!?

· Of course I would! All I need is silence and peace and you're unable to bring those into this marriage!

· Then why did you marry me!?

· Not even I know!

Kotoko expects to feel shock, but somehow, deep in her heart, she already knew this truth…

· Ok, as you wish, I'll leave you alone.

· No, don't worry. I'll be working from Yukki's room. Maybe there I can find some peace and quiet.

· Do as you wish.

Naoki walks towards Yukki's room, but he feels uneasy. This wasn't a usual fight. This time, something was off. What was it? What is the difference between this discussion and other discussions with Kotoko? Even though he is now at Yukki's, he can't concentrate. Why is it always Kotoko who can agitate him this much? He slams the door behind him and puts his all in the book that is open in front of him. In the end, Fallot's tetralogy won't be learnt just by having the book opened…

After 20 minutes, he listens the front door being shut. He knows Kotoko is mad at him but this is not the right time to fix it. He has a lot to do and it's better if she just takes a long walk and comes back home with a clear mind. Did he mean what he told her? Does he really prefers not having her around? Was she not bringing peace to the marriage? Of course it not true, he just keeps finding an awkward and painful pleasure in bullying her. That needed to stop before her mind takes it wrongly… But now, there is a pile of work to do.

Night comes, it's now 9:00pm and Naoki's family arrives to the household, along with Kotoko's father. Naoki goes downstairs to grab a bite and notices something in the backyard. Her mother seems to be noticing the same. There is a nice and cozy picnic displayed, but almost everything seems untouched. Only a tiny glass with colorful flowers has fallen, maybe because of the wind.

Naoki feels a cold hole in his stomach. Is this why she was so insisting? Suddenly, his cellphone's text message ringtone goes off. He checks and what he reads makes him feel mad at himself: "Early today there was an automatic software update in the corporate cellphones and it caused a shutdown that turned off the devices. We apologize for the inconvenience, we are working to improve our system."

· Damn. Damn. Damn… Kotoko… Damn!

Shigeo goes further and opens the bento boxes. They are untouched, as well as the side dishes. He feels he needs to intervene.

· Naoki-kun, where is Kotoko?

· I… I don't know

· What do you mean you don't know? It's 9:00pm!

· She left the house at noon and she didn't tell me where she was going.

· You had a fight, didn't you?

· We… yes…

· And you haven't checked on her, not even sent her a text message?

· I'm sorry otousan. I'm out to get her home right now.

· Don't worry, I'll go get her.

· But I need to talk…

· I said I will go get her! Don't try to fix 2 months of indifference and rudeness with 15 minutes of concern!

Naoki is shocked by Shigeo's words. Not even his mother dared to intervene. Everyone stays in the living room with their gazes fixed to the floor. Naoki walks up his bedroom and closes the door slowly. Since when everyone in the household was getting a grip of Kotoko's and his situation? Since when he was being "indifferent and rude" with her? Was it really 2 months? He dials Kotoko's number, but her phone is turned off. 2 months…?


	2. Chapter 2 - Realization

Naoki begins to concentrate in the last events of his life that are not related to study or work. Where is his Kotoko in those 2 months? Why can't he remember her touch, her lips, and her embrace? Why all that he recalls are hurtful words toward her clumsiness? His Kotoko, he loves her more than anything and yet lately he puts everything before her.

He calls Jinko: she's not there. He calls Satomi: not a grip. He calls Marina, Tomoko, Moto-chan and even Keita, but she's nowhere to be found. It's now 9:40pm. He calls Kotoko again, but her voicemail greets him. He decides to leave a message:

· Kotoko, come back home immediately. Things are not going right lately, let's talk things out and reach an agreement.

He hangs up and sits on the bare floor. Why can't he be tender in this horrid moment? What if Kotoko is fed up? No, that's not possible. She showed great determination for the both of them all of these years. Why would she quit now? She wouldn't leave him, would she…?

Kotoko is wandering the streets, not sure of where to go. The few belongings she packed before leaving home included her wallet, nursing uniforms, toiletries and some casual clothing and shoes. She forgot her pajamas, though. About money? Well, she always insisted of helping with more money at home, but her in-laws only allowed her to pay for the water and gas bills, so she certainly had enough money saved to stay in a decent hotel for a long time. She initially thought of going to her friends', but if not even her own husband wants to live with her, why would she go and bother her dear fellows? She finds a hotel and checks in. When the clerk asks how much time will she be staying, she doesn't know what to say. The clerk notices her red eyes and tired face, so he doesn't insists on asking and just assigns her a nice room with a city view.

· Being this late, we don't have a restaurant service, but there is a vending machine with fresh sandwiches and fruits. Do you have any cash on you?

· Not really, I only have my debit card.

· Oh, it's ok, tonight is my treat.

· What? No! Don't worry about me! I don't really have an appetite. Tomorrow I don't have to work, so I can allow myself to go to bed with an empty stomach and tomorrow I'll catch up on my nutrition.

· I see… Here, a courtesy bottle of vitamin water, along with an apple and some peanuts. If you feel like it, please drink some water and eat a bit of apple. You look tired…

· You are more than kind. Thanks for your courtesy! I'm going to sleep now.

· If you need anything, please don't hesitate to dial 0. I'll be here, happy to help you. My name is Tendo Shouta, at your service.

· Thanks a lot. Good night!

Shouta doesn't understand why that lady got his attention so much. Things as courtesy vitamin water and apples don't even exist! It doesn't matter, he just needs to make his customers happy.

Kotoko got into her room. The night view was beautiful, but she couldn't enjoy it. The bed was big and inviting, yet she didn't felt like sleeping. She leaves her luggage in the closet and goes to the bathroom. She leaves the water running to fill the bathtub and goes back to her luggage to look for her toiletries and her pajama, but then she remembers that she doesn't have one. What the hell, sleeping naked is not forbidden and she was all by herself, so why not?

Suddenly she remembers that anyone knows where she is. She looks at her cellphone: dead battery. She plugs in the charger and the cellphone comes to live. There are several missed calls from Noriko and his father, 4 from Yukki (?) and 2 from Naoki. There is also a voicemail, but those are usually from cellphone companies so she doesn't bother to listen to it. She types a text message to her dad: "sorry for worrying you all the time. I'm ok, safe and about to take a bath and go to sleep. I'll go to your restaurant tomorrow. I love you."

Then she types a new text for Noriko: "Sorry to worry you obasan, I'm safe. I won't be going home for some time, but please don't be worried, I'll take care of myself carefully. Have a nice night."

Obasan? Why not okaasan? She already knew the answer…

· Oh geez! The bathtub!

Kotoko runs to the bathroom and is able to close the faucet just in time before water goes off the tub. She breaths relieved and lets some water go down the drain. She starts taking off her clothes and thinks of all the time that has passed without Naoki caressing her, not even by mistake.

· He must not find me attractive anymore, or has he ever…? I do recall him saying that even if he saw me in only a towel, any though came to his mind. After all this time, is that still true?

She looks at her naked body in the mirror. Her breasts are bigger now than then, also her legs are now longer and her waist keeps being small. Her hair is bright and healthy, her skin is soft and creamy. Maybe she is not his type at all… She sinks in the bathtub and her tears finally start to flow, this is just too much for her to handle calmly… If he finds her so annoying and unattractive, why did he marry her? If he doesn't see anything positive that she can bring into the relationship, why does he have a relationship with her at all? Why did he want to be with her for the rest of their lives? Just why…?

She finishes her bath and her night routine and goes straight to bed. The bed sheets feel fresh and soft against her skin. She remembers the water that she has in the nightstand and drinks it. It helps her feel even fresher. A big drop falls in her neck and runs between her breasts and keeps its way to her bellybutton and a bit lower... She can't help to let a sight out, but then she remembers that the one that usually makes her moan and sight doesn't even like her presence anymore and that only thought damps her mood. It's better just to sleep…

Three days have passed and Naoki can't get a hold of Kotoko. He asks to the head of nurses and his knees almost let him fall to the floor when she tells him that she quitted her job.

He tries to talk with Shigeo, but the only information that he gives him only adds up to his despair:

· Kotoko came and talked with me. She seems to be serious about breaking up with you. She told me she can't fight anymore against a relationship that is not wanted by you. She feels unloved and this time I agree. She wants to give you your freedom, because she feels bad about forcing you to stay by her side all of these years... I'm heartbroken but, this very time, I think is the best option…

· No, no, damn it! It's not like that! I don't want to part ways! I…

Naoki feels like he is going out of his mind. He feels sick, but worse than that, he feels scared. His Kotoko, his beloved Kotoko… She can't be thinking that he doesn't love her! He knows why she is thinking that way, but it's not like this is the first time that they quarrel. This is not the first time that he calls her "idiot", it's not the first time that he bullies her, that he mistreats her, that he… wait a minute, it's not the first time? Nor the second, nor the third… How frequently is he being a bully with the person that he treasures the most? So, she really thinks she is a bother to him… and it's only his fault.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thanks for the reads/favs/follows! Please forgive my grammatical errors since English is not my mother languaje. I'd like to hear what you think of the story so far, so please leave your reviews!

* * *

It's now the ninth day without seeing Kotoko. Naoki asked the university for an absence of leave and the hospital for a vacation leave. He needs to focus on not losing her, but how?

\- Okaasama, I need to talk with you.

\- What is it, oniichan?

\- I want to know if Kotoko has contacted you recently.

\- She only has sent me 3 text messages saying that she is ok, but she won't answer my texts or calls. I feel so depressed!

\- Has Aihara-san told you anything about her?

\- Oh oniichan, haven't you noticed?

\- Noticed what?

\- Shigeo-kun is not living with us anymore… He left 3 days ago.

\- What? Why?

\- He told your father and I that there was no point on him living here anymore. He even told me… No, nothing

\- What?

\- Nothing, he just left. I feel so sad, the house is so lonely!

\- Okaasama! What else did he told you?

\- Oh… It seems that they are considering leaving the city… It's not a taken decision, but they are pondering and… Oniichan, are you ok?

Naoki is livid. He had to sit down to wait for his legs to respond and his breathing to normalize. She was leaving the city? What about their marriage? He always thought that Kotoko was unable to live without him and that thought made him feel safe. But now it seems that it's him who feels like dying with the mere thought of not having Kotoko by his side.

\- Oniichan…

\- I'm ok… Okaasan, help me find her, I can't let her go!

\- But what can I do? I tried following Shigeo-kun from his work, but the restaurant is already closed. I went to his old apartment and he's not there either. Kotoko doesn't talk to me, I'm really desperate!

Naoki is now not only desperate, but near to hopeless. No, he cannot allow himself to lose hope. He must regain his methodic thinking and find a solution…

Ding dong!

Naoki's heart forgets about methodic thinking and he runs to the door.

It's the mailman…

\- Mail for Irie Naoki

\- That's me

\- Sign here, please

\- Thanks… Wait! This is from my wife! Why is the sender's address a notary's office?

\- I wouldn't know… I'm just in charge of delivering it to you. Have a nice…

\- Wait! Please wait!

Naoki frantically opens the envelope. Inside, he founds something that makes him want to vomit…

\- Sir? Are you ok?

\- Oh… Yes, I'm sorry, you may leave.

The mailman bids him farewell and leaves a very pale Naoki standing at his door entrance. This is just too much. He took out the divorce document and dropped the envelope in the entrance table. He walked to his room and somehow managed to sit at his desk. He felt dizzy…

Does this quarrel deserves a divorce? No, it's impossible, it's just a quarrel, isn't it? Don't all couples quarrel? Why is she being do edgy? It's just like any other quarrel, we didn't even said anything different… Why am I recalling it so blurry?

Suddenly, the fight that they had started to come back to his head like a blast. It was out of his control, so even without trying, those words were loud in his head:

 _Irie-kun, I'd really like you to come with me. You don't have to close your eyes if you don't want, but…_

 _Please leave. I need to catch up on all the missed calls that I have. And don't ever touch my cellphone again. Your careless behavior could have killed a couple of patients._

 _Your cellphone? I haven't…_

 _I told you to leave! How come everything is so hard to understand for you!?_

 _Please, don't yell… I just want to be with you for a bit. I'll be happy with only 20 minutes of your time. I promise to stay quiet if that means I can eat lunch with you…_

Damn it…

 _Kotoko, don't you understand? Leave! I want to work!_

 _It's been awhile since we ate together, that's why I thought…_

 _You thought? Ha! Please, don't try to amuse me! You just don't know of boundaries when it comes to annoyance._

Damn it, damn…

 _You… you really don't want me around, do you?_

Of course I want you around! I'll always want you around me! Beside me! With me!

 _Oh! It's a miracle! She understands something. Sometimes I think you just play dumb to irritate me, but that would mean that you need to concentrate on your acts and that's something nearly impossible to you._

 _You don't have to be so mean! You're colder than usual! What did I do to upset you?_

 _Everything! Everything that you do upsets me!_

 _So if I disappear you would be at peace!?_

 _Of course I would! All I need is silence and peace and your unable to bring those into this marriage!_

It's not true, she's the light of this marriage… Whenever I feel stressed I just need to hold her in my arms and the world is nice again. 2 months without having her in my arms… I should have just hugged her instead of pushing her apart…

 _Then why did you marry me!?_

 _Not even I know!_

I do know… Because I love you. Because you bring excitement and joy to my life. Because you are able to do all the things that I'm not. Because you are brilliant, beautiful and brave. That's why I marry you. That's why I'm so scared of living without you… I was overwhelmed with job and studies, I was pushing myself to be the best in both fields, I was concentrated in having a sharp knowledge so I can work better for my patients, I wanted to be better for you…

\- Oniichan! Isn't this a letter from Kotoko?

His mother is panting at his bedroom door. She has the envelope that he previously dropped in her hand.

\- It's just the envelope, I have the… content.

\- No, oniichan! Look, here's the letter!

Inside the envelope, there were some pages folded together. He didn't notice them! Naoki takes the envelope from his mother's hand and as politely as his troubled mind allows him, he asks her to leave him alone. Noriko understands and goes downstairs, not being able to hold back the tears.

Naoki takes the pieces of paper from the envelope. Immediately, he smells Kotoko's light essence coming from them. That smell makes him remember her soft skin, the times that he's had his face in her neck, in her back, in her breasts… No, this is not the time for those reminiscences. Carefully, he opens the folded papers and starts reading:

 _"Naoki,_

 _Arigato, Gomenasai, Ganbatte, Sayonara._

 _Arigato: because you taught me what love is. You showed me that I can be perseverant and reach my goals. Thanks to your support I discovered Nursing as my passion. Thanks to your encouragement, I found the strength to overcome any challenge. Love and strength are gifts from you. Thanks._

 _Gomenasai: because I imposed my presence on you. I made you believe that you loved me because you were seeing me 24/7. I made you believe that I was going to change and be a good wife to you. And I tried, but I failed miserably and in the process I annoyed you to no end. Every time I tried to show myself as a deserving person before your eyes, I only achieved to bother you, to take away your peace. From the beginning, I knew I wasn't in the same level that you are. I didn't stop to think that not being smart, pretty, attractive, feminine, delicate or talented was going to bring you a thousand of headaches. I thought that my love was going to cover all my flaws and would give me time to improve my stained personality, but instead I muddied it more. I forced a flawed woman to you. I'm sorry._

 _Ganbatte: because you deserve everything that is pleasant and perfect in this world. You have fought hard to achieve your dream of becoming a doctor and now you want to be a pediatrician. I'm really proud of you and congratulate you for finding such a honorable path. I wholeheartedly hope that you keep conquering goals and helping others to have a better life. With your intelligence and talent, you're going to enhance people's wellbeing. Good luck!_

 _Sayonara: because it's what is fair for the both of us. You need to find a woman that encourages you to be the best version of yourself, someone who can be quiet and feminine, someone who takes a good care of the house, cooks fantastically and it's attractive enough for you to not be able to take your eyes and mind off of her. Those days in which you told me that I was a challenge given to you and that I make your life exciting have passed. You had your quote of excitement. Now you have some memories (shame those are with me) and you can focus in having a peaceful life._

 _For the divorce I'm not going to ask for half your stuff or alimony. I know I haven't brought or even bought anything. Luckily I have a lot of energy for working and I can provide for myself and dad. You are going to find the details of the divorce in the documents that I'm attaching. If you have questions you can contact my lawyer, but I think you don't need to._

 _Again, arigato, gomenasai, ganbatte and sayonara. Have a nice and happy life._

 _Regards,_

 _Aihara Kotoko."_

Aihara Kotoko? You are Irie Kotoko! Am I not Irie-kun anymore? Am I just Naoki? Regards? Not even with love? I, I can't…

Noriko heard a loud thump from Naoki's room. She ran only to find him lying on the floor…


	4. Chapter 4

13 days have passed now since Kotoko left the household. Naoki was discharged from the hospital one day ago. Diagnosis: fatigue, stress, sleep deprivation, dehydration and malnutrition. The problem? He only has 6 more days of vacation and absence of leave. And he is not able to find Kotoko yet… Her friends don't know about her. Her father doesn't answer the right questions, he just says that she's healthy.

He hears his mother screaming downstairs so he runs to check on her. Her mother is far from being troubled. At the contrary, she is ecstatic, jumping up and down, laughing and hugging… Is he still dehydrated? No, it is really Kotoko! His mother is hugging Kotoko! His legs aren't moving, his face isn't showing the joy that he is experiencing. Kotoko, once freed from Noriko's arms, looked at Naoki and respectfully bowed at him.

\- Good morning Naoki-san. I've come to pick up my belongings, I hope you don't mind.

\- But Kotoko-chan! You must stay! This house is not the same without you! I feel lonely! Shigeo must come back too. My husband and Yukki miss you, even onii…

\- I'm really sorry obasan, but there's a car waiting for me outside. There's not a lot that I need to pick up, so I won't stay for a long time.

\- I understand your motives, but this isn't a hopeless case! Oniichan, please go upstairs, I need to share a couple of thoughts with Kotoko-chan.

Naoki feels lost. He's unable to express his true feelings. He should be hugging and kissing Kotoko, but he's not even able to walk towards her. The fear is not letting him do what his heart is yelling him to do. He justs bows to them both and go to his room. Hopefully, his mother can make Kotoko change her mind. But he can stay still, he really needs to do something!

\- My dear Kotoko-chan, you know that oniichan loves you deeply, don't you?

\- It's been awhile since I don't think that anymore. My presence is an annoyance for him and I don't like to feel like something unwanted. I want to feel appreciated, I want to feel helpful, I want to feel loved.

\- You have seen how much he has changed since you are giving him your love. He smiles more often, he was able to pick a career path thanks to you, he thinks in what's best for you, he's more considerate and kind…

\- But not to me, not anymore. I'm tired of being last in his priorities. I know he used to be a bit kinder to me before, but bit by bit he's become colder and meaner with me. I'm not encouraging him to be better and he is not stimulating me to be by his side. We're not good for each other anymore.

\- Kotoko-chan… Are you that miserable here…?

\- Yes. And Naoki is miserable too, because of me. Obasan, I don't mean to hurt you, but please, let me go. I want to feel treasured and certainly Naoki needs to be at peace.

Kotoko has tears in her eyes, even though she promised herself not to cry. All of these days outside the Irie household she was building up confidence and strength. She even found the courage to quit her beloved job. Talking with Shouta was refreshing and offered a new pair of eyes to look at everything from a different perspective. His smile was sweet and his words were just and fair. He never tried to hide her mistakes or flaws, but he was caring and considerate when talking about those. Last night's events were a bit… unfortunate, but since they were both grownups they could overcome it and stay as friends.

\- Obasan, I'll be upstairs if you need me.

Kotoko goes upstairs, but stops in front of the door that used to be hers… She thinks of Shouta's words: "be strong, be confident about what you want for your future. Whether if you want to stay with him or find a new life, be confident!". She smiles to herself and knocks softly. A deep, manly voice answers "come in", so she opens the door and finds Naoki sitting in his bed.

\- I'll try to make it quickly, I hope I'm not disturbing your studies.

\- Don't worry, I'm on a vacation leave.

\- Oh… good. I hope you get to recover your energy.

\- Thanks.

Kotoko takes a huge suitcase and looks for her cloth, shoes and accessories. She also takes her books and Nursing notes. She doesn't seem to find her new bottle of perfume though, and the one that she has in her toiletries is over. She doesn't want to bother him, but she still asks:

\- Excuse me Naoki-san, have you seen my new bottle of perfume? I've looked everywhere in the room but…

\- Why "Naoki-san"? Are you really that much over me? What happened with "Irie-kun"?

\- I don't feel as close to you to call you "Irie-kun" anymore.

\- So, how should I call you? Aihara-san? Nurse Aihara?

\- However you prefer, it's not like we're going to talk to each other a lot, since I'm leaving…

\- Leaving? Where?

\- Otousan and I decided to go to Kyushu. A friend of him is a nurse in the local hospital and he told us that there is a spot for me. The salary would decrease a little but it's still a good… Oh, I'm sorry, I don't want to bother you with details.

Kotoko keeps putting her belongings inside the suitcase and tries to ignore the penetrating gaze that is reaching her from the bed. Suddenly, Naoki stands up and goes to Kotoko's side. His arm brushes hers but he doesn't retreat. He knows he needs to lose a bit of control in order to be capable of talking what his heart wants. His heart races and now he puts a hand in her shoulder. He feels her soft, warm skin under his hand and he just craves for more contact, but Kotoko pulls away and looks directly at his eyes. That's when he notices that her eyes are not shining, nor showing any sign of joy. That mere fact breaks his heart. Has he stolen her joy away? He grabs one of her wrists and pulls her closer, embracing her like if his life depended on it. He feels his eyes a bit watery, it's been a long while since he sheds tears, but how can he hold them? He hurt her so deeply that he feels the pain, he wants her to be joyous again.

\- Don't leave me. Stay. For god's sake, stay! I wasn't aware… I love you so much! It physically hurts not to be by your side! I need you more than you realize… _(He pulls back for a bit just to look her in the eye, but then he realizes that she wasn't hugging him back)_. I can be a cold bastard, I can be manipulative and distant, but I never meant to steal the shine from your eyes, those beautiful eyes… I was being selfish, I thought you would endure anything, I just…

\- Naoki-san, please let go of my arms, you're hurting me…

\- What? Oh, sorry (He doesn't actually let go of her, but looses his grip). It seems that I don't understand when I'm hurting you, right? I love you so much but still fail at protecting you…

\- Please, consider your feelings better. You are used to me, but you actually don't love me. At the most, you care about me, but love is not what you have been trying to give these years. Think about what you want for your future. Isn't it peace? Isn't it stability? You know that with me, you won't find those… You should talk with Sahoko-san, maybe she is still available and…

Kotoko's words were stopped with a kiss. She pulls back, but he immediately pulls her into the kiss again. He hugs her tightly so she won't have a chance to escape. Her lips are tense, rejecting the kiss, which only makes him more eager. He quickly gets closer to her ear and whispers "I love you", lightly licking her earlobe only to rapidly go back to her mouth. Electricity was running up and down her body, it's been a long time since she felt his eagerness and she's starting to lose her resolution. She can perceive his scent getting her drunk and making her crave for more skin contact. Before she realizes it, she's already reciprocating his kisses and, at this instance, she doesn't care anymore about holding back. Naoki's hands are busy, looking for more of Kotoko's heat. He doesn't want his heart to slow down the pace, because all of this days without her he felt dead. He slowly walks towards the wall and briefly stops kissing her just to lick her lips and whisper in her ear. When Kotoko hears that "you're more beautiful and attractive than you think. I'll never have enough of you", she turns to face the wall. Naoki gets scared for less than one second, only to feel her pressing herself against him and to see her turning her head to steal more kisses from him. He feels his head spinning, thousands of butterflies seem to be flying all over his body, but because of the way that she's pressing again and again against his now aching groin, those butterflies are accumulating in only an specific area.

He can't help himself now, he can't stop now. He can only wish that a small fear that's rounding his mind is just that, a fear. _What if this is her way of saying goodbye?_ He pushes away that thought, and concentrates on get his hands busy, travelling through the creamy skin of her abdomen. _Has she lost weight?_ He lowers a hand and softly presses it against her Venus mound, while his other hand goes to her breasts. He kisses her neck and ear while he feels her tiny hands working on him as well. One of her hands is going through his hair, almost pulling it, and the other hand is caressing his leg. The hand in his leg is reaching his member and his vision gets blurry for a second. He grabs her by the shoulders and turns her, making her face him. He kisses her and she deepens the kiss, letting her tongue free to play with his. Her hands are now under his shirt, touching all of his back and pressing him against her. Naoki can only curse that he is wearing a button-up shirt when he realizes that Kotoko is trying to unbutton it, but he solves the issue by simply ripping it open. Kotoko gets a bit shocked, but Naoki is not willing to let her think and proceeds to get rid of her white strapless blouse while kissing her more and more, both happy and angry when he realizes she is not wearing a bra. How many men have noticed her pink small nipples through her blouse?

Kotoko is out of her right mind. She only wants to touch all of Naoki's body, taste all of his skin, kiss him until they're out of breath. She doesn't want to analyze anything, only let her senses guide the experience and act according to what she's feeling, as well as drive him crazier than ever. She feels freed from her blouse and takes one of his hands to make hem grab her naked breasts, she sees his ecstatic face and she knows he's craving for her as much as she is for him. So, why not being a bit bold? She is always kind of passive and lets Naoki make all the moves, but now she wants to be in charge of making him explode.

She places one hand in his now huge member and carefully pulls, making Naoki walk following her lead. She throws him in the bed and straddles him, while he looks surprised. She moves in top of him rubbing his hard manhood, making him feel mad at the pants that he's wearing. He tries to stand up to get rid of the hindrance but she pushes him, making him lay on his back again. She stands up and unzips him, then pulls down his pants leaving him in only his boxers. She licks the white piece of underwear while pulling it down just a tad, until the tip of his erection starts showing. She looks at a very pleased Naoki and licks her lips, which makes him moan out of anticipation. She kisses his tip while slowly pulling down his boxers and deepening the kiss. Naoki thinks that he could die right there, her mouth felt amazingly delicious in his shaft. Once she throws the useless boxer to the floor, she goes up the bed, crawling until she straddles in the top of his chest.

Naoki sees that she still has her long white skirt on and, obviously, her panties. The sweet scent of her wetness can be smelled even with her undergarments on, which drives him crazier than he already is, besides, he can feel her moisture in his chest going through her soaked panties. She grabs a side of her white laced lingerie and moves it aside, revealing the source of the moisture. She stretches a hand back, carefully going up and down his pulsating erection. Naoki covers his face with his hands when he feels her delicate touch, but then decides to use one of those hands to reach her in her now uncovered pleasure center. She sees what he's trying to do, so she stands up in the bed all of a sudden and gives him a malicious look.

The abrupt lack of contact makes him slightly furious, but when he sees Kotoko unbuttoning her skirt he regains his good mood. She throws the skirt to his face, and when he moves it aside she throws her panties to the same place.

Naoki sees her totally naked, standing up almost in top of him. He tries to stand up and embrace her, but she pushes him back with one foot. What she does next leaves Naoki, literally, speechless. Kotoko's enchanting vagina is in his face while her mouth is working again on his hardness. He kisses and licks like if it was a life-death matter, her moisture tastes like heaven and he feels he can get drunk with it.

Kotoko is enjoying Naoki's mouth so much that she can't concentrate on giving him pleasure. She moans and whispers his name, but when she feels close to her climax she stands up to face Naoki and commands him:

\- Take me now

\- I'm glad you want it, because I can't wait

\- Stop talking, just do me as hard as you can

Naoki is even more turned on (if possible) by her words, so he pins her against the bed and starts thrusting furiously. He kisses her so she can taste herself, and when Kotoko digs her nails in his lower back he moans in her mouth and thrust faster, making her reach an exploding marvelous ecstasy. While seeing her shake and tremble, he goes inside her as deep as he can and releases himself as pleasantly as if was his first time. He falls by her side and hugs her tightly, filling her face with butterfly kisses, caressing her hair and saying "I love you" until he falls sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Naoki wakes up feeling renewed, but he doesn't want to open his eyes just yet. All of his muscles are relaxed, there's a wide smile in his lips and he can feel Kotoko's scent filling the room. Making love to his wife has always been pleasant, but he knows that, more than because of the amazing sex, this satisfying feeling comes from being able to see his adored Kotoko again. He can always regain his strength just by touching her cheeks. He will never be as stupid as he was those awful 2 months and… Wait, where is Kotoko? He opened his eyes and the sunlight hurt him. How long has he been sleeping? And Kotoko? He turns on his side and sees a piece of paper in the pillow where Kotoko should be. A cold sensation takes place in his stomach…

"Naoki-san,

While you were sleeping I looked for the divorce documents. They are not signed yet. Since I need to sign a new contract soon, I ask you to please go ahead with this so I can be hired as Aihara and not Irie.

Thanks for yesterday's goodbye. I thought you didn't find me attractive anymore. You told me repeatedly "I love you" and that made me feel warm inside. Thanks for saying it even when you don't really feel it. I'll come back tomorrow morning to collect the signed papers, so please have them ready. It's 8:00am now, so I'm taking my leave, otousan must be worried.

Again, have a nice and happy life.

Aihara Kotoko"

Naoki quickly looks at the clock in the nightstand: 8:10am. He jumps out of bed, puts black sweatpants and a white t-shirt on and runs downstairs ready to hit the streets to chase her, but that won't be needed. Kotoko is crying in Noriko's arms, saying "I'm sorry" over and over. Naoki backs up to not be seen but he stays close enough to listen to their conversation.

\- Kotoko-chan, it's not your fault, please calm down.

\- But okaasan, you just told me he had to be admitted in the hospital! I believed from the bottom of my heart that he didn't care about me anymore, I swear!

\- Oh sweetie, I've been telling you the whole time! Oniichan loves you deeply, he just doesn't know how to express his feelings or convey them to your heart.

\- He doesn't love me… I really think he just got used to me. At most, he tolerates me a bit

\- Dear, that's not true…

\- I shouldn't be saying this to you, but do you know how long has it been since he touches me?

\- Less than 15 minutes, I'd say…

\- Besides that! _Kotoko blushes_

\- How long, then?

\- 2 months! I even tried to seduce him once by going to bed only wearing a red thong, but next thing I knew was that he was soundly sleeping beside me.

\- Darling, were you covered by your bed sheets?

\- Well, I…

\- Oh Kotoko-chan! You are still too naive after all these years!

\- But still okaasan, he wouldn't talk to me if it wasn't to say nasty things about my personality, even he told me that I don't bring good things to the marriage. I feel so unwanted, so ugly, so stupid…

\- Oniichan is really mean!

\- No okaasan, I think the mean one in this story is me. I shouldn't have married him in the first place. I knew I couldn't make him happy and I still…

\- So, you think I can't make choices on my own? Your husband is some idiot that needs people to make decisions for him?

\- Irie… I mean, Naoki-san!

\- Come, I need to talk with you.

He thought of taking her to his bedroom, but seeing how the conversation concluded the day before it would be better to talk in a less inviting environment, so he decides to take her to the backyard.

\- Yesterday I told you that I love you, didn't I?

\- Yes, you did

\- And you don't believe me, do you?

\- It's hard to believe you after what happened during the last 2 months.

\- The Naoki from the last 2 months is an idiot. The Naoki that you have in front of you has reflected deeply. Believe me when I say that I'll never neglect you again, no matter how busy I am.

\- It's not just that… i used to endure your badmouthing, but now it's too hurtful to me…

\- You can't expect me to cover the sun with a finger, so if I call you stupid is because you're doing something stupid. That won't change. What I will do is that I won't exaggerate or elaborate my rants. I'll just say what I need to say on those mindless times of you.

\- But I truly feel that someone like Sahoko-san would bring more to a marriage than me.

\- I don't care. I don't want a calm and quiet wife. I actually don't care about the wife's attributes, as long as you are the wife. You are my wife, Kotoko. And I'm completely yours.

\- Irie-kun…

Kotoko kisses Naoki with trembling lips, shedding tears of joy. She pulls back softly to say "I love you" and Naoki can see her eyes shining with happiness and hope. He kisses her forehead and hugs her tightly, while on it, he hears his mother squealing with emotion behind them. _"We should move out… first she hears us making love and now this…"_.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: This is the last chapter of my first fic. Thanks to all of you who have left a kind review. It's weird, but I can't see your reviews here, only in my e-mail. I guess I just don't know how to check the yet since I'm pretty new here, hehehe... ^^´

Please, keep reviewing. Let me know your kind thoughts so I can learn how to improve my writing. See you all!

* * *

Irie's household feels different for Naoki since yesterday. Now it's worth to spend the time in it. Kotoko's laughter is filling the air (also the sounds of her constant bumps and falls) and it creates a cozy and warm environment. Yesterday was the day that she agreed to come back home. Last night was the time that they tore out the divorce documents together in their bedroom. When Kotoko goes to take a shower she remembers that her toiletries are in the hotel, so she asks Naoki to share his. He says "ok" and recalls that she seems to have all of her pajamas in their closet:

\- Did you buy new pajamas?

\- Not really (she answers carelessly while taking off her blouse). I just slept naked the whole time.

Naoki's right eyebrow goes up and he stops reading his book to look at his wife's back. "She definitely lost weight", he worriedly thinks. She removes all her cloth from the waist down and now she is completely naked, trying to untangle her hair with a comb, still not facing his now penetrating gaze. He remembers the first time that he saw her naked (their honeymoon) and compares her to nowadays. Undeniably, she looks more attractive and mature now than then, and even then she was already sexy… He perceives his growing erection and stands up, takes the comb from her hands and says:

\- I'll help you. How did you tangle your hair this badly?

\- I'm not sure… Ouch! Don't pull so hard!

\- I prefer to push hard instead…

\- What…?

Kotoko feels something hard in her naked bottom and goosebumps cover all of her skin. "Can it be his cellphone in his pocket?" Her cheeks are red and she tries to turn, but Naoki throws the comb to the floor and before she knows it, he is rubbing himself against her while grabbing her breasts with one hand and with the other he holds her from her hip. She's now wet and hot, taking Naoki from his hips to make him slow down the pace:

\- You're still fully dressed, remember? That's unfair!

\- Let's make things even.

She finally turns and crouches going directly to unzip him, she pulls both pants and boxers down and starts a very deep and wild fellatio. His knees are week and he suddenly tells her to stop:

\- You don't want things to be over before time, do you?

\- Am I that good?

\- Hell yes you are.

\- Glad to hear it (She stands up and walks to the bathroom). I think we'll both enjoy this more if I clean. Please be patient.

\- Are you going to sleep naked tonight?

\- Let's see how it goes!

She winks and disappears in the bathroom, softly humming a song that he recognizes from an anime that Kotoko follows, Kimi ni Todoke. When Kotoko is finishing her bath, Naoki walks in, carries her and makes her sit on the countertop, declaring:

\- You're taking too long

\- It's only been 10 minutes!

\- Too long for me to wait...

They engage in a very steamy activity, and Kotoko certainly sleeps naked that night.

Next day, during lunch, Naoki insists on accompanying Kotoko to the hotel to collect her belongings, but she tells him that it would be better if he talks with her father first while she picks up her luggage and pays the bill:

\- Otousan is going to kill me, because of me he closed his restaurant and now I'm not moving…

\- I still have a few days of leave. I'll work on a marketing strategy for the restaurant and convince the same personnel to join your father's business again.

\- I'm positive about the marketing strategy, but the personnel… Maybe 1 or 2 of them are still unemployed, but I know for sure that 3 of them are employed by now.

\- Where are they working now?

\- In a convenience store, 2 blocks from the restaurant.

\- Doesn't sound as the greatest job ever…

\- Well… maybe not…

\- Seeing things as they are, I do prefer talking with your father while you go to the hotel.

\- Yes! It's the best option!

\- You seem a bit too excited to go without me.

\- Ehm, no, it's just that I'm worried about dad… hehehe…

\- Hm, so let's go out now and meet each other at home again.

She accepts and he leaves first, leaving a relieved Kotoko behind. "I have to talk with Shouta, after all, he's my friend…"

Kotoko arrives to the hotel and asks for Shouta, but the receptionist tells her that he will be arriving in 10 minutes. Kotoko explains that she wishes to check out and that she'll go to her room to pick up her luggage. The receptionist tells her that her bill will be ready when she comes down to the hall again.

Kotoko goes to her room and gets her luggage ready. She sits on her bed and without her controlling it, she remembers the moment that she had with Shouta…

· _Kotoko, please eat something, you're losing weight…_

· _I just don't have an appetite. Thanks for your concern Shouta… Don't tell me that's why you came to my room… I'm even interrupting your work!_

· _No! I decided to come and check on you. I'm worried. I understand that you are going through a hard time, but you, as a nurse, know that you must take good care of your health. I'll leave this food here in your nightstand. Stop crying…_

· _Oh Shouta, you're so sweet and caring. You're so different from him! I wish he was half as interested in my wellbeing as you are. You're so supportive and kind, and…_

 _A kiss interrupted her. It was so soft and sweet… As much as she was shocked, she couldn't help but to give into it with the same delicacy that he was showing. His hands in her cheeks were warm, everything about him was making her feel so relaxed and cherished… Abruptly she snapped out of the cloud that she was in and stopped the kiss. She was a recently divorced woman (She thought Naoki had already signed the divorce) but this was too sudden!_

· _Shouta, I'm sorry, I can't…_

· _No, I'm sorry, I was the one kissing you… This is too soon for you. But it really breaks my heart to see you cry and I… Well, I've come to like you a bit…_

· _You know I can't answer correctly to your feelings…_

· _I know. It was just a moment of madness. Do you think you can forgive me?_

· _Don't worry, I treasure you as one of my best friends!_

· _Thanks, you're so considerate and, well, a bit naive… But I really like that about you!_

· _Are you making fun of me?_

· _A bit, yes! Hahaha_

· _Hahaha! Thanks for being you Shouta!_

Kotoko wakes up from her memories when she hears a knock on her door. She goes to check and it is Shouta, holding her check in his hands.

· Hi Shouta! Come in! How are you?

· You're unusually happy. Could it be…?

· Yes, I made up with Irie-kun!

· Well, congrats, then!

· I'm so happy! And you helped me through so much! Thanks Shouta!

Kotoko hugs Shouta with a huge smile in her face. Shouta smiles and hugs her back. He's truly happy for her, and he's also relieved. She's such a good person!

· Am I interrupting something?!

Kotoko and Shouta look to see the person talking. Kotoko immediately throws Shouta aside.

· Irie-kun! How did you find me?

· Your father told me where you were. You seem busy…

· No! Not at all! Here, he is Shouta, he is a great friend!

· Mmh, glad to meet you. I'm Irie Naoki, Kotoko's husband

· Oh! Glad to finally meet you sir! I'm Tendo Shouta, Kotoko has talked a lot about you. Actually, she only talks about you!

Kotoko and Shouta laughs together. Naoki frowns and asks:

· Is the room still available?

· Oh, yes! Until 4:00pm, which means it still can be used for 3 more hours.

· Do you have other business?

· No! No sir! I'll go to start my shift. Congrats, Kotoko!

· Thanks Shouta! I'll contact…

Naoki doesn't let her finish her sentence, grabs her from her shoulders and drags her to the room, closing the door harshly. He looks upset, but Kotoko doesn't seem alarmed. In fact, she looks amused:

· Are you jealous, Irie-kun?

· For that youngster? Bah, he doesn't bother me at all…

· Actually, he's our age.

· What? No way! He looks so young…

· He does! Doesn't he?

· Did you let him into the room?

· Yes, he brought me a meal and…

Naoki takes Kotoko from her waist and throw her in the bed. He attacks her neck with wild kisses, while his hands squeeze her breasts desperately. Kotoko moans and tries to get rid of Naoki's t-shirt.

· Irie-kin, are we really going to…?

· Of course, we have 3 hours left and I plan to use them correctly.

· But otousan must be waiting for us and…

· I can't hold myself back anymore, I'm taking you here and now. You want me?

· Yes! Always!

They keep kissing and caressing each other. Naoki's heart is content and not only for the physical contact, but because of the second opportunity that life is giving him. Can he be luckier? Even though it's a bit scary how much he depends on her, he understands that this is a lesson for him to keep learning how to love and be loved. This whole course of events only confirms that their marriage is everlasting, and Naoki's and Kotoko's smiles endorse the statement.


End file.
